Little League World Series: Al Qaeda’s next target?

This entry was posted on Aug 27 2010

Is Little League World Series Al Qaeda’s next target? I don’t know… but it should be. Lets cross our fingers. I feel like it’s important that I make it very clear that I don’t support terrorism. It’s like not cool and stuff. But I think we can all agree that The Little League World Series is one of the worst things to ever happen in the history of mankind. So if they make that their next target I think I speak for everyone when I say. Thanks desert dudes.

ESPN's target demographic for The Little League World Series

Hey! Listen up jerk! Because I’m about to go all Law And Order: SVU on you. I’ve been raped.You’ve been raped. EVERYONE has been raped. I’m not surprised that you don’t remember it. It was so traumatizing that your mind has erased it. Your mind is pretending like nothing happened. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. You’re the victim here. But you do need to hear this. I remember what happened. I remember who did it and I’m about to rock your world, so sit down. It happens every year. The Little League World Series every year is the worst thing that’s aired on television and it feels like rape. We don’t deserve this. It’s heinous and unwatchable on so many different levels. Let me break this down for you.

  1. If a pedophile died and went to heaven the place that piece of shit would go would be the LLWS. The only people who actually watch this bullshit on television are pedophiles. If you aren’t a parent or family member there is no other reason why a person would watch little kids play baseball… The teams might as well be called “Polanski’s Little Angels” or “The Jonbenet Ramsey’s” because I guarantee you the ESPN program executives who program this shit know that they’re aiming for the child rapist demographic. Think about it. What kind of person finds this shit interesting? Hmmm? Little kids physically exerting themselves playing totally meaningless piss poor baseball in the middle of the summer while actual major league baseball (for people that actually like that shit sport) is being played everyday. ESPN isn’t trying to entertain us. They are trying to get us off. This is here for pedophiles to jerk off to. When every kid comes up to bat a graphic pops up on screen and lists his full name, home town, favorite player, favorite food, or favorite movie, or favorite music… etc. Who needs to know that shit? Pedophiles. IT’S A FUCKING ZAGAT GUIDE FOR LITTLE KIDS! If they really want to make money they should make Little League World Series DVD’s and sell them in adult video stores. They might as well… at least the rest of us wouldn’t have to be subjected to this. Chris Hansen from To Catch A Predator might as well be doing color commentary for the games. It’s disgusting for a normal person to have to pass this on TV.
  2. They are instilling the wrong values into the kids that play. I don’t have such a big problem with Little League itself. Lord knows these kids should be outside playing sports instead of staying home playing video games and scheduling their first gastric bypass surgery. I think that there are lessons to be learned from playing sports as well. Lessons that they can take with them for the rest of their lives. But not when it’s on TV. Then it becomes about making money. These little league coaches don’t give a shit about these kids. They just want to win and look good on national TV. These kids are taught all the wrong lessons. At that age winning shouldn’t be the end all be all. But it is. That’s why you end up getting kids doctoring their birth certificates so they can play even though they are older so they can whip the younger competition. What lesson does that teach? What lesson are those kids learning when they make a play or hit a home run and start doing some celebrating dance routine? Theres no way that happens if they know they aren’t on national TV. Theres no way a coach lets that happen. But fuck the kids, right? Everyone’s making money!
  3. It’s god awful baseball. There is nothing entertaining about this. These kid’s aren’t any good. Maybe they are good for little kids but they still suck in comparison to everyone else. The little kid down the street is good at kickball why isn’t he on TV? Because it’s there is nothing entertaining about it. Sure there are baseball fanatics but those assholes have the MLB and three or four levels of minor league baseball… then college baseball… and then they still have independent baseball leagues where there can get their fix. Anyone who needs more than that can go fuck themselves. Get a life you sack of shit.
  4. It bumps Pardon The Interruption (one of my favorite shows) off TV for a couple of weeks.
  5. Gary Thorne who was once one of the best play by play hockey announcers in the country is reduced to working these shit games.
  6. Fuck you.

So if Al Qaeda wants to blow these games to hell, I think I speak for all of America when I say have a blast! Whatever it takes to get this crap off the air and punish everyone involved, including the kids. There are no innocents in a crime like this. Those kids have to be burned to ashes along with everything else. They are infected with the disease that is Little League World Series. Most of those kids will end up being assholes anyway. Those kids peak at age 12 or 13. By the time they are out of high school most of them have a couple kids and are meth heads or alcoholics and the others end up becoming shitty hockey players (practically stealing 7+ million a year from the NY Rangers) named Chris Drury.

If you don’t agree with me about this you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror because you are a pedophile and you want to fuck little kids.

One Response to “Little League World Series: Al Qaeda’s next target?”

  1. What’s wrong with banging out some little, moist kids? It’s not illegal, so let them eat cake…off my naked body!

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