Nathan: Poet, Romantic, Sexual Deviant

This entry was posted on Aug 06 2010

On the third installment of Radio LIVE! (08/02/10), Joe and Frank took Nate’s relationship into their own hands. Joe and Frank draft a beautiful poem that Nate recites over the air to his girlfriend in hopes of mending their shattering hearts and bringing them back to status-quo. Here is that poem…

My name is Nate and I am so great

Your name is Sam, but I wish it was Pam

You should legally change it, don’t be a fool

Ah, whatever, you bang me, it’s cool

Your head is good like a large coconut that produces fresh coconut milk

I don’t like coconut milk, but since it’s fresh, it means it’s good

I could crack open your head and sell all the milk

Mmm, that’s good…milk, milk, milk, milk

Your hair is nice and you’re buoyant like quality driftwood

I’d have a tough time trying to drown you

Most of the time I don’t want to kill you

Rat, Hat, Monkey, Cat

Monkey monkey, yo represent

If you didn’t know, that’s a compliment

I am the beast that makes your loins froth

Especially when I shower you in my boiling love broth

The seams of my jeans burst when you walk in the room

When you’re asleep I’ll drop a load in your womb

To appease my rich parents you know what we have to do

They’ll probably buy us a house, so we’ll raise the kids Jew

Come on baby, don’t yell, you know it’ll be swell

We’re not Christians, so who cares? We’re both going to Hell

You’re so lucky to have me, a man of such class

Now turn around baby, lemme get up in that ass

Wait, can chicks get pregnant if I fill up your butt?

Just to be safe let’s keep your back door shut

On second thought, I’ll do it, Joe and Frank will be impressed

They’ll think I’m so cool, but alas, I digress

I hope your rump’s hungry, I’ve got quite a large portion

Man oh man, I hope you can write off an abortion

*Originally read on Radio LIVE! – 08/02/10*

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