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The Joe Chronicles: “A Cynic In New York”

This entry was posted on Aug 04 2010

August 4, 2010

Today, I witnessed something so confusing that it haunted me for the rest of the day. In fact, it was so baffling that when I recapped the scene in my head later on I felt compelled to immediately sign up for months of therapy sessions. You guessed it; a selfless gesture by a fellow New Yorker.

I was walking casually up the stairs to the train platform. Two steps away from the landing when I saw my train idling on the tracks. With lackadaisical haste, I hopped on to the platform and made my way for the train, but the doors began to close, then opened, then closed again. I accepted my fate because sometimes you’ll get that one extra chance when the doors re-open, but they rarely open a second time. Today however, the moons were in perfect alignment, prompting the conductor to open the doors for one last ditch effort to tumble into the train. Unfortunately for me, my overwhelming apathy pushed my ambition to the side and touched it inappropriately.

Then something strange occurred. The dude standing inside the train extended his leg to block the doors from closing, allowing me the two seconds needed to leap into the train. I didn’t know how to feel. On any other day this same man would have pushed me to the ground and stuck me with an HIV infected needle. In complete disbelief I said, “hey, thanks man”. He nodded, and that was it. There seemed to be nothing in it for him. No monetary reward or sexual degradation was demanded. And the real interesting thing was that this man seemed to be in pretty good shape. He was wearing the garb of a biker or runner. This fitness enthusiast risked his well being so I could avoid waiting an extra three minutes for the next train. Hey, we’ve all seen what these train doors can do. Sometimes they simply re-open, but sometimes they close tight like a vice, gnawing at your trapped appendage while EVERYONE else on the train watches from their peripheral vision with their iPods on pause, pretending that they are still listening to their music, but they’re really listening to the agonizing screams emanating from your body (the same way you handle the loud, belligerent homeless man who wanders your train).

Those doors could have taken that guy’s leg, but he felt that me getting to work almost twenty minutes early was more important. For one moment in time the cynicism that fills all New Yorker’s hearts was gone, replaced instead by…weakness. You know what? Scratch that. This guy must have been a pussy. What a tool, right? Luckily for me I didn’t have any sort of life changing epiphany or revelation from this good deed. This reaffirmation of the human spirit will have no more a lasting effect on me than when someone mentions they’ve fallen in love with me. That’s it! This guy probably just wanted to bang me, and can you blame him? I’m an Adonis.

- Jobalak


One Response to “The Joe Chronicles: “A Cynic In New York””

  1. The world of mass transit is survival of the fittest.


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