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These parents want their kids to die.

This entry was posted on Aug 02 2010

Remember Abby Sunderland? The young girl (I think 16 years old) that tried to solo circumnavigate the world in a sail boat. Remember that it went wrong and she was lost at sea? You might vaguely remember this, but only because it was so recent. But that situation could have been very close to becoming something that you wouldn’t have had any trouble remembering. If the parents had gotten their way. But she was rescued instead.

Now 14 year old Laura Dekker is attempting a similar trip with the goal to become the youngest girl to complete such a trip. And again her parents are hoping for a similar result as the Abby Sunderland trip with only a sightly different variation.

These trips are so expensive that typically the parents for these kids have to take out loans and mortgages and put themselves in serious debt just to give their children the chance. Is it worth it? Not really. Even if the kids complete these feats and set new records… maybe they get on a 2nd tier talk show for a 5 minute segment. It’s just not that big a deal. Maybe hundreds of years ago it was a big deal for these people to go out and brave the elements in their old rickety boats with their old technology with the knowledge that if something went wrong no one would be able to save them. It would all be up to them. But that’s done now. If something goes wrong most of the time these kids are going to be able to get saved and even if they do set a record, it will get broken next week by some kid who is a week younger. No big deal. So again, why are these parents allowing their children to take these risks? The answer is pretty simple once you think about it. They want their children to die.

The benefits of having their children die a terrible lonely death out in the middle of the ocean would be immense. Their initial investment would be more than recouped. And make no mistake thats what these trips were. Investments. No sane middle class parents would go into heavy debt to give their kids 80,000-100,000 dollars for some joy ride around the world. No, these parents were playing the slots. Their thinking was that you have to be in it to win it. As safe as these trips are compared to hundreds of years ago, they still aren’t all that safe especially when you are talking about an inexperienced child. These parents count on that and want their children to go out there and die miserably, because if they do, the parents are instantly talking about a movie/book deal, prime time TV appearances, and many more new revenue streams. But for that to happen the child has to die. Ideally the child makes it 3 quarters of the way through the trip before something goes wrong and the parents lose contact with the child. They start a huge and very expensive search paid for by their government and after days of searching they finally find the boat with the dead child on it. Cha-Ching. All of a sudden they have co-written a best seller, they are on Oprah, and Amber Heard (hotttttt) is starring as doomed heroine in a Jerry Bruckheimer produced film. All their dreams have come true. Make no mistake. Thats what is actually happening here.

Abby Sunderland really screwed her parents over by surviving. But they aren’t quitters. I wouldn’t be surprised if they find a way to kill her (and capitalize off it) before she goes off to a college that they can no longer afford. The bounty won’t be what it could have been if she had died at sea, but they have to find a way to recoup some of that money.

Laura Dekker’s parents still have hope for their big bounty. They go to sleep every night dreaming that hungry barracuda’s are eating their daughter alive, because the more brutal, gruesome, and tragic there daughter’s death is the more Amber Heard (Mmmmmm) will have to work with and the more money they can make. Very soon they are going to get their chance at the slots. In the mean time they will just keep telling their daughter to be sure to take plenty of pictures petting friendly barracudas and keep telling themselves that dreams do come true.

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