Intervention Letter: From Radio LIVE! – 09/13/10

This entry was posted on Sep 15 2010

*This letter was originally read live on the 09/13/10 episode of Radio LIVE! to our alcoholic friend, TJ Fox*

Dear Thomas,

We’ve known each other for a few years now and you’ve always been someone I could talk to, but lately your alcoholism has become too much for me to bear. There’s so many people that care about you, but you continue to push them away over and over again. All you care about these days is “having a good time” and getting, as you like to say, “so hammered that you could bang a pregnant dog to death and then eat the savory embryos inside”. I’m not sure that’s even a phrase, but this kind of stuff needs to stop now.

I still remember the barbeque you invited me to. I was so excited to see you, having graduated half a year earlier. My expectations were so high, but then were immediately shattered when I arrived to see you already drunk, doing shots of nail polish remover having run out of vodka. When I said hello you didn’t even recognize me. You were convinced I was the stripper your parents ordered. Tom, why would your parents have solicited a stripper for an afternoon barbeque with your family and friends? You expected a lap dance and immediately started to touch me inappropriately. I tried to fend you off, but you were aggressive and overwhelming. You managed to tear out the crotch of my khakis with your teeth. Those were brand new khakis I bought the day before specifically for the party to impress you. I’m not sure what you would have done to me had most of our other friends not grabbed you and wrestled you to the ground. During the melee that was trying to subdue you, you managed to break the nose of one of our female friends and kick over the grill which started a small brush fire in your mother’s orchids. She cried for what seemed like forever as you cackled and danced. Part of me died that day.

A few months past before I felt comfortable in contacting you again. I invited you to my birthday bash at Houlihan’s. On the phone you actually seemed genuinely touched to be apart of the event. It was a step forward in our friendship and I decided it was finally time to turn the page, but I spoke to soon. You arrived to Houlihan’s half an hour late with some drugged out harlot. You stumbled up to our table already wasted on grain alcohol and vomited on Frank’s meatball parmesan. I tried to get you to drink some water and relax…and that’s when you hit me. You punched me directly in the face and declared to everyone in the restaurant that you needed to be drunk at all times to tolerate anyone’s presence. You then began to violently make out with the girl and appeared intent on having sex with her in public, but she wandered over to another table and began to eat food off their plates. Even though you said “everybody” in your declaration, I couldn’t help but think it was directed at me. I was sick of blaming myself for your issues. While you were doing body shots off our waitress without her consent I came up behind you and choked you out. At that point your bowels had been released due to alcohol poisoning. The staff helped me drag you out to the dumpsters and even though you desperately needed medical attention and the stray dogs who were aroused by the smell of defecation started to surround you, I left. I left you for dead because you were already dead. My friend died a long time ago.

TJ's liver after his second cirrhosis of the liver surgery.

We miss you, man. We all want the old Thomas back. The one who we could talk to if we had a problem. Not the one who lets his inhibitions run rampant and has no self-respect. Give up the bottle, Thomas, or it will surely lead to your demise. I love you.

-  Joe

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