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Stop whining about hurricanes you god damn pussies.

This entry was posted on Sep 01 2010

I need everyone to stop complaining about this upcoming hurricane Earl. Please. It just isn’t a big deal. All I hear about from the news, or the from radio, or from friends is about the hurricane coming this weekend. I get it. It’s going to rain. Get a grip. I have news for you people hurricanes aren’t that bad! So it gets a little windy? It’s a great time to go fly a kite. This isn’t a problem because we aren’t the three little pigs and our houses aren’t built out of straw or sticks. They are built of concrete and steel… they stay up, okay? Stop freaking out about this, you’re all annoying the shit out of me.

The average person complaining to me about the hurricane.

Okay lets think about this… Out of all the disaster movies how many are about hurricanes?  None. There’s Dante’s Peak, Twister, Volcano, 2012, The Day After Tomorrow… etc. There’s no hurricane disaster movie… because it’s not a disaster! It gets windy. Shut up. You can’t turn that into melodrama because nothing happens. A couple of tree branches fall. You stay inside and make it a movie night and make some hot coco. Get a grip people.

Okay, so maybe you should take down your tent. Big deal.

When’s the last time a hurricane killed someone? Everyone loves to bring up hurricane Katrina as an example of where a hurricane is a big deal and can be dangerous but that’s a load of bull. That can easily be explained away. New Orleans. It’s that simple. If hurricane Katrina happens anywhere else it’s nothing more than a free car wash. Any hurricane or rain storm would have done that to New Orleans. You know why? Because they don’t know how to build levy’s. New Orleans is a party city. All they do is play the blues, flash tits for beads, cook gumbo, and get hangovers. What I’m trying to say is that New Orleans is lazy and that if they only worked a little harder and didn’t drink so much Katrina wouldn’t have destroyed that city. How about you work on the levy’s and do what has to be done. Work a little harder so you can afford houses. Did you see what those people were living in? Shacks. If that. If they had worked hard and became successful and made enough money to buy real houses this never would have happened. Instead their houses either floated or blew away. Sorry, that’s their fault. Don’t blame a hurricane.

... shouldn't you be fixing the levy's?

Fine… houses are destroyed in Florida every year by hurricanes. But old people live in those houses so who cares? Most of the time insurance picks up the tab for the homes and otherwise like I said they are so close to death it doesn’t matter anyway. The one time a hurricane can be dangerous is out at sea like in the movie A Perfect Storm starring George Clooney. But that doesn’t count because it’s taking place out at sea where everything is dangerous.

So just grow up and stop telling me about how dangerous hurricanes are. I’ve cited so many facts in this post it’s ridiculous. Also once I finish this post and put it on the internet that will make everything I said true. Some of you are just going to read this and get all emotional and say I’m crazy, but I’m not the one who’s terrified of the wind. You probably believe in the boogeyman too. Pussy.

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