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10 Things I Hate About Courtney Cox

This entry was posted on Jan 20 2011

**On the 12/20/10 episode of Radio LIVE!, Joe reads this poem live on the air to Courtney Cox and the world. It was written in response to David Arquette (whose heart is still broken from the separation from Cox) admitting he’s been drinking heavily and would soon enter rehab.**


I hate the way you broke David’s heart and don’t even care,

I hate how to belittle David in public when he wants to play truth or dare.

I hate that you probably won’t suck David’s dick and humbly make amends,

I hate how it took you so long to bang Jon Favreau’s character in Friends.

I hate that you didn’t see Eight Legged Freaks and I hate that you’ve driven David to drink,

I hate that you tease him with your sexual techniques and I hate that you challenge him to think.

I hate how you think you’re so damn hot and such a goddamn catch,

Don’t you realize how easy it will be for David to replace your dried up snatch?

I hate the way you never deserved him because you’re just a filthy flirt,

Just so you know they’ll cancel Cougar Town just as quickly as they canceled Dirt.

I guess it was all a lie, huh bitch?


9 Responses to “10 Things I Hate About Courtney Cox”

  1. Impressed with your rhyming skills Joe shmo.


  2. Couple of problems. First, there are easily 37 more reasons I could come up with to hate Courtney Cox. Better reasons, too. She is disgusting.

    Second, I have to object to your attempt at passing off “catch” and “snatch” as a rhyme.

    It would have been better to go with “catch” and the fact that her “dried-up snatch makes the world wretch.”


  3. Courtney Cox is the product of Ozzy Osbourne and a doll with a broken eye that won’t shut properly. Eugh.


  4. You are all a bunch of fucking idiots, courtney cox is the best female actress ever and you all are a bunch of pathetic losers who will die alone. Leave her alone, david is a prick and she ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!


  5. courteney is awesome, its david who is worthless. she could always do better than him and FYI he s a flirt, not her.


  6. I’m laughing my tits off. Miserable people make me laugh…..=)
    Haters are going to hate. Its the only thing they are good at


  7. She is worst celebrity ever! Looks horrible and has unimaginably huge opinion for herself!


  8. David, isn’t it time that you get over it and move on? You two divorced quite some time ago. Stop writing hateful things about Courteney under fictitious names. :-)


  9. Great stuff Joe. I never liked her on friends, she was the annoying one. Still do not like her now.


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