Letter of Correspondence: Jesse James

This entry was posted on Feb 24 2011

**This letter of correspondence was originally read on a previous episode of Radio LIVE!

Dear Jesse James,

You do realize you make motorcycles, right? I say this condescendingly because what you are doing with your life makes no difference to society. The only people you are helping are meat-head thugs in motorcycle gangs. Oh, don’t forget the professional athletes that can not resist riding motorcycles and ruining their careers. By the way asshole, thanks for almost killing Ben Roethlisberger. It’s a good thing Big Ben is more of a man than you’ll ever be. You have some nerve being quoted saying, “2010 was actually the best year of my life because I fell in love with my best friend”. Know who’s 2010 wasn’t so great? Sandra Bullock. You remember her, right? Your ex-wife that you cheated on while you two were still married. Interesting timeline hereā€¦ In March 2010, the initial scandal arose when several women claimed to have had affairs with you during your marriage. On April 28, 2010 Sandra filed for divorce. The divorce was finalized on June 28, 2010. And then not only two months after that Kat Von D announced that you two were dating. Jesse James, you are about as classy as a child molester who tries to convince people that the kids are in love with him. Please, immediately kill yourself.

There should be a national holiday where Jesse James tours the country and people line up to punch him in the face.

And Kat Von D? Besides the fact that she’s literally covered in tattoos to the point where there’s no visible skin left, she must also be dumb as a bag of dirt. Does she even realize you’ve been divorced three times now? Face it James, you are incapable of love. You’re simply destined to die alone. And when you’re gone, no one will remember your stupid motorcycle business. People will hear your name and think of the outlaw from the wild, wild west. That guy killed people without remorse and I still respect him more than you. Sandra Bullock is an award winning actress and director. You’re going to follow her up with the bitch on LA Ink? Wow, the legacy of Jesse James just continues to grow, doesn’t it? The only thing I won’t to see grow is a malignant tumor in your brain.

Rumor is... She has a tattoo of a vagina ON her vagina.

And Sandra Bullock is the sweetest woman. Not only was she the famed star of Miss Congeniality: Armed and Fabulous, but she really helped put George Lopez on the map by producing The George Lopez Show. I’m almost glad you broke her heart because you don’t deserve her! You deserve a tattooed piece of gutter trash like Kat Von D. You deserve to have both your legs amputated so that you can never again ride your precious motorcycles. You deserve to have a penis tattooed on your face so people forever know how much of a dick you are because only a dick tearfully apologizes in public about his infidelities and goes to rehab to work on his marriage, only to get engaged to some new whore months later. You are human garbage. Too bad you weren’t in Arizona for the shootings because even a psychopath like Jared Loughner would have recognized the need to eradicate you from the planet.

Miss Congeniality would have ripped James' dick right off!

Love, Joe

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