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Morning Sickness

Morning Sickness, Episode 23 – April 11, 2011

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Tons of bullshit to talk about today! Joe and Frank Commentary! Executive Perks! Music News! Celebrity Dogs! Fantasy Baseball Stress! Celebrity Apprentice! But the real story is that Frank is furious that Kevin tutors him in math while high on drugs. Don’t miss it!

This is exactly what Kevin looked like during those tutoring sessions.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 22 – April 6, 2011, 2011

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The opening commentary goes on and on about how Frank can’t stand Joe’s farting at the table whenever they go out to eat with friends. We discuss whether or not Gandhi was bisexual. Spoiler Alert – We discuss what happens on Celebrity Apprentice (from two years ago). I think we finally get to that damn ATT merger segment… Music News! Also, we talk about that new stupid Superman movie.

Frank is convinced this is how I act when it happens.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 21 – April 4, 2011, 2011

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Oh baby! Yeah, we better abort that baby… Anyway, check out the traffic laws we talk about today, including the revisions we’ve made along with their respective punishments. Lois Lane is cast for the new Superman movie, but Joe and Frank have some better ideas. Real Celebrity Names is another segment on today’s docket. Plus, we try and get to ATT mergers… AGAIN!

I think the girl from "Precious" should have been the new Lois Lane. But I don't think even special effects could convince an audience that Henry Cavill could lift her.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 20 – March 30, 2011

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This morning Frank gets into some real Facebook trouble after posting about his affinity for rape jokes. Joe and Frank Commentary runs rampant throughout the show, specifically regarding Elizabeth Taylor’s recent death! We take another shot at Frank Psychiatrist, the segment Frank claims doesn’t exist! Plus, we get an exclusive in-studio interview with hip-hop star, Chris Brown. We take another shot at getting to the ATT merger bit we’ve been promising since last show. It’s gonna we wet and wild!

Special Guest Third Mic: Greg

"I might never get to hit Rihanna in the face again." - Chris Brown, People Magazine

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Morning Sickness, Episode 19 – March 28, 2011

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We had a real barn-burner of a show this morning! We open the show with a discussion about how America’s new language will soon become a series of grunts and growls that will be extremely popular among the homeless, who will eventually rise up in resentment to take over the country and kill all the rich! Then for about an hour Joe and Frank forget that they produce a comedy show and get into a very serious and heated argument regarding the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution. Then just when it looked like they’d start saying something funny again, they started aggressively discussing their religious views. Eventually they get to talking about the NCAA March Madness and some other shit. You’re definitely going to wanna tune in for the political commentary…

LT having sex with an underage prostitute single-handedly ruins this Morning Sickness episode.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 18 – March 23, 2011

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On today’s Morning Sickness, Frank once again claims Joe is only happy when he is fat. There is some commentary on the Alien franchise, which Joe thinks is awful. We decide not to edit out one of the plugs for the now defunct internet radio station this show was originally recorded for because Joe makes the station pitch so badly it must be heard by all. Kevin is a guest on this morning’s show, and he joins in on a three way rendition of Genesis’ “Invisible Touch.” Also, Joe accuses Frank of cheating in their friendship when he discovers Frank has other friends.

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

Phil Collins drumming and/or having an orgasm.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 17 – March 21, 2011

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This week, on a very special Morning Sickness, Joe shows up in an abnormally good mood, and it makes Frank incredibly suspicious. He’s convinced the only reason Joe could be in a good mood is because he’s done something horrible to Frank. Also on the docket of conversation, we discuss the tsunami in Japan, music news, celebrity breakups (Joe claims he’s the one who broke up Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake), and Frank talks about how he hates The Sopranos. Plus, Frank Reviews Movies! Check it out!

You had too much! I had to step in.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 16 – March 16, 2011

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On today’s Morning Sickness we literally abduct ten children from their homes and murder them live on the air! Oh wait, that’s next weeks show. Alright, forget that shit… What’s on today’s show… (shuffles through notes) Come on… (eats sandwich and masturbates) Ah, here’s today’s show! We’re going to be talking about the Happiest/Unhappiest States. We’re debuting a brand new segment called “Joe’s Lust Corner”, where Joe obsesses over Avril Lavigne and it disgusts you. Frank comes in completely unprepared this morning and Joe calls him out for chewing gum on the air. We mention some fantasy baseball stuff and how our friend Rob (who is the commissioner of the league) sucks. Plus, we get the biggest names to interview on Morning Sickness! Lebron James and Chris Bosh will be IN STUDIO for interviews! What will these guys have to say? Tune in to find out!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 15 – March 14, 2011

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Today’s morning is chock full of taboo and hate! That happens. We introduce the show with a tolerable conversation about what kind of bar we’ll open when we both fail at our respective endeavors. Frank wants to name the bar “Fun Bar”, while Joe is leaning towards “The Rape Dungeon.” The consensus is that both names are horrible. A brand new “Joe’s Hate Corner” airs today, along with a discussion about the iPad 2. I thought I heard our “Letters of Correspondence” music in there somewhere, so that might also happen. We wrap up the show with some great ideas on how to lower gas prices and fix the oil crisis! Bottoms up, bitches!

This is exactly the kind of guy our hit bar will attract someday! Real winners!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 14 – March 9, 2011

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For the first twenty-five minutes of this morning’s program, Joe and Frank (and Kevin, the third mic) relentlessly harass each other’s dieting efforts, along with each person’s physique. Everyone involved in the argument apparently has an awful body and these three (all best friends) let each other know it in the most offensive, mean-spirited way they know how. It all comes down to who “wins the diet”, as Joe so eloquently explains to Kevin’s disdain. Also on today’s show, we confront Kevin about his refusal to set Frank up with his hot, redheaded, and supposedly easy (Frank’s words) friend. Why won’t Kevin let us bang and impregnate his friends? Is he hoarding them for himself? This would be a real twist considering he’s gayer than two guys sucking each other’s dicks at a Ricky Martin concert! Is he just pretending to be gay for the women?!  Relationships and music news are also on the docket. Not too mention, you might hear some stuff about the now defunct internet radio station this show was originally recorded and aired on that we were just too lazy to edit out! Deal with it, sluts!

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

Ricky Martin forces Frank to watch as he pummels that hot, redheaded girl with his cock and fills up her entire body with his love seed!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 13 – March 7, 2011

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This show will always be remembered as the day Frank discovered the Charlie Sheen Quotes Soundboard… An instrument that he would use incessantly for the entire show. But also on this morning’s program, we discuss the new “Dancing With The Stars” lineup and our Fantasy Baseball bullshit. We also talk about how Lauren Graham has sworn off plastic surgery, which prompts us to both make our own lists of women we feel could benefit from a little plastic surgery. It’s gonna be wild!

Winning!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 12 – March 2, 2011

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On today’s Morning Sickness, Joe and Frank work on new and exciting ways to make our country’s gas station attendants more efficient. Some of their ideas are a little extreme, but these attendants have slacked off for the last time! We also have some Charlie Sheen commentary. We discuss the most miserable cities in America and there’s a brand new edition of Joe’s Sports Chat to look forward to. Frank also teases something he calls “Healthy Joe”? What the fuck could that be about?

Bullshit! You just don't wanna pump it! Lazy bitch!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 11 – February 28, 2011

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The laughs are nonstop this morning! We open up the show talking about the WWE and Morgan Spurlock. Then Frank starts complaining about Kevin. The dude won’t set Frank up with his hot red head friend! What’s with Kevin? That’s a pretty dick thing to do. Joe tries to bring back the hit radio bit “Frank Bangs Things”, but Frank seems reluctant. He wants to leave banging inanimate objects in the past. I’m pretty sure a fan wins a t-shirt from us (that we definitely never sent out). Plus, we talk about who we think should take over as Egypt’s President and we redo the US budget!

Hosni Mubarak gets us.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 10 – February 23, 2011

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On this morning’s show we catch up with Arash and recap our trip to Mohegan Sun! Did we win big? Sadly no… But the conversation does eventually take a dark turn about beating women. We discuss the 2012 Super Bowl halftime show, along with Lindsey Lohan and Billy Ray Cyrus! We’ll have some Joe and Frank Commentary and a chat with a real live Jewish person!

Special Guest Third Mic: Ryan

Madonna is really still doing this, huh?

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Morning Sickness, Episode 9 – February 21, 2011

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Do us a favor… When you think of Joe and Frank, please think about people who take money from the collection plate at church. ‘Cause that’s what we’re talking about for most of today’s opening commentary! Are we bad people? You’ll have to tune in to see which side we take! Also, we’ll be discussing hate-mail that some of our over zealous fans sent in. Not to mention a battle for the ages! Joe vs. The Super Computer.

After the show, Ken Jennings took a shit in Watson's processor!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 8 – February 17, 2011

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For some reason the guys talk about Groundhog Day! MTA safety concerns are a major topic of offensive and disturbing discussion. Joe and Frank Commentary gets everyone’s goat, while P Diddy bothers the shit out of Joe. They may or may not have time for Joe Nutritionist. I’m fairly sure they ran out of time for that segment for the last three weeks. Joe gets no respect.

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

This was actually a surprisingly good movie.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 7 – February 14, 2011

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Another crazy Morning Sickness coming at ya! For the first ten minutes Frank rambles about how horrible Joe dresses. Then Joe starts rambling about his NHL All-Star Game trip. Plus, Joe and Frank talk about child murderers, Mohegan Sun, P-Diddy, and spending money on sharks (although I’m not sure where that was going).

Dominoes! That's literally all we're gonna play!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 6 – February 2, 2011

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All kinds of crazy FUCKING things happening this morning! We’re going to be talking about The Oscars! We’re going to be talking about Rex Ryan (again)! We’re going to be talking about Keith Olbermann! We’re going to be talking about Taco Bell! We’re going to update you on what’s been happening with Phil Matchmaker! More Joe and Frank Commentary…

Special Guest Third Mic: Nate

The future result of Phil Matchmaker...

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Morning Sickness, Episode 5 – January 31, 2011

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We’re back for a fifth straight week! New record (probably)! And shit, do we have a lot on the agenda. There’s going to be some Joe/Frank Commentary, Letters of Correspondence, End of the World Scenarios (which seems all too relevant this week), and a wacky story involving Frank’s first Four Loko. Also, a brand new Joe and Frank Rewrite The Bible!! Not to mention, the first ever “Rex Ryan’s Lunch Game”! Bitches, you literally can’t afford to miss this one. It’s just what the doctor ordered to treat your (_____enter your terminal illness here_____)!

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

Will this be the last Morning Sickness ever posted?

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Morning Sickness, Episode 4 – January 26, 2011

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Big things going on this morning, and we ain’t just talkin’ ’bout our dicks! Joe and Frank are going to be playing Phil Matchmaker! Where we make an online dating profile for our friend Phil and try and set him up with some girl, all behind his back! We’ll also be discussing Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gay Porn, Public Bathroom Stories, and some hot and tasty Joe and Frank Commentary! Oh, and it gets crazier. We’re going to have a séance, where we try and communicate with the ghost of former President Ronald Reagan. Will we succeed? Probably, but you better listen just to make sure!

It didn't take much convincing... That part was kind of a let down.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 3 – January 24, 2011

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Third Episode! See? We told you we’d try and be consistent! Lots of things to talk about this morning! Such as…

1) Steve Carrel leaving The Office

2) Celebrity Apprentice

3) Frank’s Twitter Obssession

4) Joe and Frank Commentary

5) And a brand new segment called “Joe and Frank Rewrite The Bible”!

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

The Office is always playing in the background of my lovemaking.

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Morning Sickness, Episode 2 – January 19, 2011

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Episode Two of Morning Sickness promises to bring even more to the table than last week! Featured segments will include: An interview with Jared Loughner’s father/brother, Bo Derrick Loughner; The shooting of a foot fetish video; and Morning Sickness’ first ever Soap Sampler Challenge (where the boys will be tasting soaps to see which one is more delicious)!

Special Guest Third Mic: Kevin

This interview catapulted Morning Sickness straight to Hell!

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Morning Sickness, Episode 1 – January 17, 2011

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THE DEBUT EPISODE OF MORNING SICKNESS IS HERE!!

What’s on the docket this morning? Well, for starters, we’re going to be giving our old friend Phil a call regarding members of Paramore leaving the band (as he is our Resident Paramore Expert). Also, we’ll be debuting a brand new segment called “Joe’s Hate Corner”, where Joe discusses all the things that have been pissing him off lately. We will also be talking about Cyber Bullying and Celebrity Breakups. And to top it all off, we will have in studio an actual Superhero. Her name is Brown Sugar and she just loves to fight crime! She’ll also help shed some light on the new TV series “The Cape”.

Special Guest Third Mic: TJ

We're pretty sure Phil jerks off to the one in the middle... But we can never be sure with that Phil.